Two Moms, One Donor: Sam & Laura Abbey on IVF, Extra Sperm & Raising Their Donor-Conceived Boys

This episode is brought to you by our friends at California Cryo Bank. Use code queerfam25 for a free level two subscription to their donor catalog and start your family building journey today. It's also brought to you by B. Parent Surrogacy. Mention the Queer Family podcast when you reach out and receive $2,000 off any service you book.

Let's get into it. Love is love is love on the queer family podcast. Love is love is love on the queer family podcast. Love is love.

I think there's this idea of this one conversation, right? I'm going to tell them that you have two moms and this is how we made you and then that's going to be it. But it's like the conversation is different when they're two. It's different when they're four.

It's different when they're five, six, seven, eight. So these are ongoing conversations that are constantly evolving based on their age, what they're capable of understanding, what they're ready for. So we decided early on, I don't want our kids to ever have a memory of when they got the talk, right?

They will have always known how this family was created and why it was created. And so it's just always an open conversation. And then sometimes we kind of forget to update the conversation. They'll ask us a question.

Well, it's funny because literally yesterday, both our boys were, they love art, both of them. And Laura and I are not artistic whatsoever. Like cannot draw nothing.

And they are both very talented. And I was like, maybe your donor was artistic. I was like, it wasn't in their profile, but maybe. And like, they just are so like matter of fact.

When it's like, yeah, maybe, maybe, you know? But like they just don't, it's just like a natural part of like who they are. and they don't really talk about it very often.

They don't seem to care, at least not now. Welcome, welcome, welcome y'all to the Queer Family podcast, the show All About Family, but with gay. I am your gay host, Jamie.

And this is the show that highlights, celebrates, uplifts, and normalizes. Lige Petitquah families in all of our fabulous identities. And oh, I love this episode.

I got to sit down with some old friends, actually. This is kind of a, where are they now episode? Sam and Laura Abbey. I interviewed them way back in the day

about their family building journey, their lesbian moms with two boys now. And so we rekindled our relationship seven years later and got to see what they're doing now.

We dive into the buying of sperm, how much to buy, what do you do when you have too much sperm. And we dive into what it's like to be boy moms

when your boys that you thought we're gonna love to wear dresses and pink and paint their nails, cause duh, lesbians, don't turn out that way at all.

We had a really fun conversation. It's lively. We laugh a bit and we actually discussed some really great points.

So I can't wait for you to hear this here episode. Before I roll that tape, I don't know if you can hear from my voice. I have a little cold.

I swear this always happens around this time of the year. We've gotten through Thanksgiving. We've gotten through my son's birthday. He's the first birthday of the crazy cyclone of birthdays

and holiday events at the end of the year. We have two birthdays to go in December, and we have the celebration of Santa and presents at the end. And of course, then we have New Year's.

So it's cyclone time in the Kellwood's house. And we've gotten through two things, and we've got some more on the horizon. And of course I got a cold,

because why wouldn't I? Duh. Because that's mom life. Am I right?

Can I get an amen? Ah, but we we plowed through, we pushed through. I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you're enjoying the beginning of December.

My favorite month, because it's my birthday month, even though it's my craziest month. I still love it. Let's go ahead and get these ladies in this show. Let's roll that tape.

Helen and Bula, who have done nothing to help me through this crazy holiday time or birthday time. I mean, they didn't even give Orion a present. They just showed up with their cigarettes in hand

and said, happy birthday, kid, in true Helen and Bula fashion. They're gonna roll this tape for me because they need to be useful in some way.

My fake assistants who do not exist, but I continue to look over at like they're even here, please roll this tape. Thank you so much, Helen and Bula.

Happy holidays. We'll be right back. Thank you for all my podcast lovers love. Okay, wait, before we get into all this talk about buying sperm

and baby making the lesbian way, I want to take a moment for those of you who don't need sperm because you've got plenty, but you might be lacking in the egg or uterus department.

And I've got you, fam. I can't leave my non-egg carrying queer family out of the conversation. Let's go, come on.

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when you reach out and you're gonna get $2,000 off any service you book, cause they have our backs. Cause being a parent is a love story with no ending, y'all.

So go make those babies and then come tell me about them. All right, let's get into it. A queer family podcast, love is love. Hi, Sam and Laura.

Hi. It is so nice to be back with you again. It's been a while, it's been a minute, as they say. Seven years?

Probably, because you were like, in one of our first seasons, I feel like, okay, so for everybody at home, this is like a where are they now?

Because I interviewed you back