Tea Time with Jaimie & Dianni: Moving In Together, ADHD Messiness & Lesbian Relationship Fears

Hey, y'all. Hey, I just wanted to drop in one more time to say, if you've been enjoying these two time with Jamie and Deanna episodes, you should go to our Patreon and subscribe now because after this one, they're all going to be only Patreon exclusive.

So you have to be a Patreon member to listen and I will be releasing one of these per month going forward. and we have some really fun ones coming up for you and we have some fun topics planned.

It's always a good time on Tea Time with Deani and Jamie. All right, have a wonderful week, y'all. Love is love. It's Tea Time.

I hated that, actually. I hated that every second. Oh my God. I just made Deani sing it with me.

Welcome back, y'all, to Tea Time with Jamie and Deani on The Patreon. If you're here for more, good luck. We're so happy to have you.

It's actually what Jamie meant to say. We are, we are. And we've got tea, we've got tea to spill. And this one's gonna be fun

because we're gonna learn a little bit about Deani and what's happening with Deani. Kind of goes along with our last one about like how you don't have kids yet and shit

and how your life is about to start lifeing probably and from what I can deduce. So what's going on with you? I feel like that's the thing, sorry,

I'm already like, I'm ready to go up. I feel like that's the thing too with a little bit of an age difference because I feel like you can really feel the age difference

once you get into your 30s. And I've always dated older and Ashley's 34 turns, no, she's 33, oh my God. She turns, she's 33, she turns 34 in September.

I'm turning 30 in two weeks. But I feel like that age difference with like having children because she would be the one to carry.

And then like all, you know what I mean? So it just, her body obviously has a little bit more limited time. I feel like I didn't notice an age difference

until I am now like getting older. And I'm like, oh my God, like decisions have to be made sooner, things are whatever.

So that's a little side note. The clock is ticking. Which is out really. Yeah, it's true.

You don't really start thinking about the clock until your 30s. It's true actually. You really don't.

Like in my 20s, I'm like, I love dating older. Like I feel fine because you're not thinking about any of that. No, at least I was at least now.

And most of us queers. I don't think we were who knows. But yeah, you do. It does start to click.

But we started even later, like I really, because I was so focused on my acting career that I was like, I was like, no, no, no, we're going to push this till our forties here. And then it was like, no, we got to do it.

Yeah. I mean that too. But for this episode, we are discussing. We talked briefly on our last Patreon episode about how Jamie is my elder.

I'm so sorry I said it like that. I'm so wrong. I'm your fairy godmother. She's my queer fairy godmother.

Thank you. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Arrace, erase, erase. Restart. She's my queer fairy godmother.

We just consult with the elders on this one. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel, Loki. Like, I want your advice on this. Ashley and I have been discussing moving in together.

and together. And for context for those listening, in May, we'll have met a year ago. So in September, we became actual girlfriends in September. And so I mean, next month, it'll be, we'll have known each other for a year, but not till September, we have been actually like girlfriends for a year. So just for that background context, I think we've talked about it because both of our leases

are up in August and I'd come into some like financial things I had to pay that I was like, okay, this is going to cost me a lot. My rent is a super affordable in comparison to what other people pay in Brooklyn. So it's not that bad. It's manageable. She pays a bit more. And so we've talked about it before the financial stuff came up and it was kind of like, I don't know if I'm

ready for that. Because one thing about me is I'm not your typical lesbian in that I'm like ready to U-Haul let's go. I'm actually super, I'm kind of like a voidant, which is why I'm curious about your opinion

because I know that you are like a serial monogamous U-Hauler. You're very typical lesbian in that way. I'm a lot more voidant. I mean, let's call us made of spade,

it's a fact of the matter. I'm a little bit more voidant. And so I was like, we can kind of hold off like, in my head, I'm like, if we know we're gonna spend

the rest of our lives or however long together, we don't need to do this right now. You know, right? But then she was kind of like seeing me stress about a lot of things financially and very

sweetly was like, you know, it might be worth it to move in together to save that extra money and like I'm willing to pay a bit more so that you don't have to or like figuring out something together. I love that idea.

I love that incentive of talking about it more and more and we still want to sit down and like have an actual financial conversation of like, does this make sense? What would the numbers be and all the things and we haven't done that yet. But as we started to like.

I never sat down and thought about it. Does the numbers make sense? Absolutely not. No.

It was purely heart. No, I'm, because I'm scared, Jamie. I'm scared. Here's my thing.

I feel fear, okay? I love my girlfriend so much. She's the sweetest. I know that I want to be with her,

but I'm scared because I've been such an avoidant, my urge is always to run. So I'm like, what if we start to feel like roommates rather than girlfriends?

What if we're not as intimate? What if she's messy? I'm not messy. I'm very clean. What if like, that's a thing. That's a real thing for me. I can go over to her place and like, I start,

I get annoyed and I don't even live there right now. I'm like, imagine when we live together, I'm going to be annoyed. And then what if I start to resent you because I'm annoyed about the mess.

And so like all of this is happening in my brain. Can I tell you something? Please. And all of that will happen.

Like that's, but that's family. That's, that's love. That's, but that's relationship.