Escape the "Nice Guy" Trap: How to Be Authentic & Attractive for Real Love

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Tough advice for young men. Tough advice for young men. That's the topic today. And this really is a podcast for men.

So girls, women. I apologize, but this is one for men, especially younger men. Good chance that a lot of girls are women will not like what I have to say in this podcast, but it's not for you.

So just relax. I guess girls and women, you know, the only thing I would say is that if you want to listen, as you can consider some of these ideas, Getschiver become a mother of a boy. You have a son or sons.

So this topic was inspired by two things. One was a question on our community site, our member community site. Excellent question from a young man asked, he asked, should I wait to get married until I am well-established,

meaning is asking, should I wait to get married until I am financially stable? successful, etc. Or just go ahead and get married before that. Very, very good question and important question. And I will discuss that exact question in today's podcast later in the podcast. I'll give you some thoughts on that. And again, everything I'm going to say

today is for men. So it's from the men's perspective. Giving young women advice, I don't like I'm not qualified to do that. I think mothers and other women in a girls family are the best ones to give advice to girls and women and teach them about becoming a woman and dating or getting married to men, all those things.

Quite correctly. The tradition has always been that the women of the family, especially the mother, is the one who teaches the girls about becoming a woman. An answer to these kinds of questions and gives this kind of advice and teaching.

and the men of the family, especially the father, teach their sons. That's how it should be. Because of course, as parents, we teach our children, as matter of their boys or girls, we leave them and teach them and do the best we can.

But when it comes to the specific topic of how to be a good woman, how to be a good man. You know, it really needs to come from the correct parent or it could be, I guess, you know, another man or woman in the family, even a grandparent. Because you know, women have no idea what it's like to be a man.

So mother giving advice to her son about dating and relationships and how to be a man. She's going to give bad advice even though her intention and her she wants to help her Helper's on the best she can. She loves him tremendously, but she's going to give him bad and wrong advice that's going to cause him pain and suffering Because a woman has no idea what it's like to be a man and the opposite is also true

men have no idea what it's like to be a woman woman because we're not women It's the same thing with our daughters, specifically when it comes to this topic of how to be a woman and be a good woman and all these things. Even though our hearts are in the right place, that's just that one topic is something we can't really teach them. We can teach them how to be a good person. We can teach them very general things. Of course we do that. We do all of these things, but when it comes to these very specific areas,

areas of life. It's quite important for mothers to teach their daughters and fathers to teach their sons. Which brings me to the second reason I'm doing this podcast, the second inspiration for this topic comes from one of my nephews. He's a teenager.

He has a girlfriend dating a girl. And it's not going well. Folks, I mean, specifically, my nephew likes so many young men. In fact, exactly like me at his age, is a nice guy.

Very, very, very sweet and nice. Unsurprisingly, this girlfriend, well not a terrible evil person or anything, is not treating him well. Not treating him respectfully, in fact, she's getting more and more and more spoiled. And he's getting more and more frustrated and unhappy.

And he doesn't understand what's wrong because as things have got tougher, he's trying to be even nicer. Do more things for her, be more romantic, you know, and he's already doing a lot. Much more than her. And of course, I'm going to discuss this and why he's doing things, the things he's doing

are actually making the situation worse. But here's the problem, the tragedy. The tragedy for someone like me, someone who's older, who's, you know, in their 50s, who's been through all this as a young man and suffered the pain of all of it is to watch

it happen to him because his mother, my sister, has trying to give him advice. His father is not giving him any advice. His father should be. but his father's attitude is, oh, I'll figure it out.

He'll figure it out, just let him go through it and go through all the pain and figure it out. The sad thing is though, it may take him 20 years to figure out.

And he may have, you know, long, long years of misery. And the truth is also that a whole lot of men never ever figured this area of life out there. dating and then marriages life lives are miserable and they never, ever, ever.

It's easy to expect someone to figure it all out just through trial and error because relationships are so complex. Number two, the propaganda that we live in, movie, TV, books, other people, the whole culture, teaches the exact wrong thing, and so it's very, very, very hard for a young person, or even an older person, to go against all of that. I figure out a completely different way.

It's asking a lot, and it's a lot of unnecessary suffering. This is what fathers are supposed to do for their sons.