Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

In this video, you will discover why you can't stop thinking about him and surprise what you can do about it. Hey, I'm Antje Boyd with MagTizio Man and together with my husband Brody Boyd, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world

to get the connected, committed and long-term relationship that they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Look, the reason why you are obsessively thinking about him, you can't stop your thoughts from it is because you are in a limerence state.

Now what is limerence? It is actually the description of an altered state of mind. It's also known as love addiction. And you may already start nodding your head because it feels crazy addictive.

It's insane. Like you're doing things you would never do when you're running on limerence, right? And towards the object of limerence, of course. And you know, let's actually talk about what is limerence?

And limerence is particularly when you're really obsessing over a person and you're basing it like on fantasy. so far off from reality, oftentimes it's also completely one sided. It's filled with hope.

It's filled with lots of back and forth with in and out, with lots of uncertainty, lots of intensity. And it's horrible because you can't break out of it. You see that I see this with women all the time, trying to break out of limerence,

that they literally say, I wake up in the morning, I can stop thinking about him. I'm driving and the first thought I have is him,

and I'm doing all the meditations, I'm doing all the affirmations, I'm doing all the prayers. So I'm going to be here to tell you actually how this builds,

and also why the tools that I'm going to teach you are actually going to work. Because in phase number one, ideally of course you catch already in phase number one,

right? There's like several stages. and in phase one or in stage one, it's all about being excited about this person. This is not a person that you actually feel like,

so it feels more like a cool calm lake, we're relaxed, but it feels very intense and very exciting, and your heart is beating you in a hyper aroused state. Unfortunately, you're in a sympathetic nervous system response,

you're in a fight or flight response, but feels exhilarating. You know, unfortunately in that stage also women think, I've met my soulmate, you know,

I've heard our clients tell us, oh, this is the sign from God, the angels are singing from heavens. But let me tell you, when you meet a man

who is securely attached, and ideally you're securely attached, it doesn't feel like the angels are singing from heaven. It's actually a very grounded experience.

So there is something like crazy about already from the get-go. Ideally, you want to already catch it right there and say, wait a minute, wait a minute.

So is this particular state that I'm experiencing right now sustainable? Because if it's not, then think about it this way. What goes up must come down.

And this is not going to look great. And we're going to go into that in particularly stage 3 and 4, how it becomes more and more a negative downward spiral. However, in the first stage, if you don't stay grounded and connected to reality,

so I recommend, for example, taking a calendar and actually marking in your calendar that really helped me to hear from limerence in the early stages, actually seeing like how many conversations did you have with this person? Or when did you have a phone call with this person?

Because when your brain actually looks at a calendar and sees like, oh, there's like three conversations on there, right? And the rest of the calendar is white. Then it's like there's like the sense of grounded and stuff,

this kind of sense of reality that comes back in. And you're less likely to add the ingredient of hope onto it. Because what you do is when you had a childhood, when you had a childhood of neglect,

or where you developed an anxious, avoidant attachment style, surely an insecure attachment style, or also of course where you're abused as well, but you were actually craving that emotional intimacy,

that attunement, that attention, then you're more prone to limerence. How do you do that is because you create a fantasy. As a little child, you eventually also created a fantasy

because it feels so much better. So you actually start to leave your body. You actually learn to disassociate. And that's what you do when you enter stage two,

which then, out of both hope, leads to obsession. Because now you are projecting onto this person, this amazing storyline that you have lined up. Now, how do you break out of obsession?

and we teach as our women all the time is feminine communication. So it's actually not necessarily something really wrong with obsession if you communicate it, right? Because in that particular state, you can actually identify if this man is truly invested

in you or not. And by the way, a woman who is securely attached and is intrinsically confident at this particular stage will communicate her emotions, right? We're talking a lot about feminine from unification.

And so what that means is you communicate that you attracted this person, right? So when I was like in a stage with that, with a man, like it shifted things for me right away because we had coffee at Starbucks. And so I told him that I felt that feelings of attraction for him.

And it was just really real. It was really authentic. It was really transparent. And he said, you know what?

like I would continue dating you, but I just met who I think is going to be my future wife, right? Which ended up being true, by the way. But it was so powerful for me because, guess what? I no longer was an uncertainty, which leads you to that next stage of limerence and instead got to break out of that limerence, right? So the trick of limerence is number one,

you want to catch it as early as you can because breaking out of it is going to be easier. Why? Because you're going to have less resistance and the brain will not have developed