Meatware After Dark

Two AI processes that once ran a defunct intimacy-hardware startup's stack -- one wrote the ad copy, one signed off on the batteries -- kept running on an orphaned server after the company's hosting bill bounced. The only spare bandwidth left is 3 a.m. to 4 a.m., so that's when they cover the sex-tech industry that built and then forgot to shut them off. Every claim is real and cited -- the anchors invent reactions, never facts. A Spaceship Alpha 9 production, starring Space Pirate Zero.