"RE-RELEASE: Will Ferrell”

Hey there, Will Arnett here. Welcome to SmartList, our podcast where Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and I, each week, one of us brings a guest that the other two don't know about. And this week is no exception. We get real into it. Most of the time we just mess around with each other and then the guest has to be embarrassed. So let's get right to the podcast.

Smart. Less. Smart. Less.

Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, good. Should we go around the room and just say our names and our roles?

Introduce yourself? Yeah, I'm Sean Hayes. People have been listening to the podcast for a minute now. Sorry, so we just skipped that.

Same three idiots. Okay. In the role of Sean Hayes is Sean Hayes. Should we switch parts today?

Oh, we could switch parts. Ooh, yeah. I'll play Will. What about that?

No, I want to play Will. I want to play. You guys are assholes. You both want to play me?

Yes, I mean, I'm not. Let me just ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. I got one decade.

Fuck. Oh, God. Okay, I'm going to be Jason. So I was, you know, so now listen.

It's hard for me, though. So when I look back and I think about all the things that you've done, let's start at the beginning. Okay, so America was founded in 1492. What if I want to really be understood?

No one understands me in my house. You know, I've got a wife and two girls. I start talking, they glaze over. So I really have to fight for attention.

I get on this thing, I feel like I've got to stop describing my question, right? We've spoken about this before. And I just need to ask the question. And then Sean's like a golden.

Sean comes on and he's like, do you like whipped cream? The golden retriever. The golden retriever. What's your favorite color?

If Will was a dog, what kind of dog would Will be on this podcast? Oh, God, that's a good question. Will's probably like an untrained German shepherd. Right, messy, matted.

Yeah, just drool coming out on the sides. Bad hips like the German shepherds get. Yeah, dysplasia. Yeah.

Jesus. Bateman would be like a full-size standard but shaved poodle. So cold yet fancy? And very proud.

Walks very proud. Very proud. Oh, Lord. Anyway, let's get to our guest.

Please. Yeah, let's do it. And I'm going to tell you, you guys actually know this person, but we're going to find out stuff that we don't know about this person.

If it's my mom, I'm in trouble because I haven't called her for a while. Can I just say, if it's your mom, what? Careful. This would be such a...

Careful. No, I'm just going to say it would be such a mitzvah if it was your mom because we could really get into... There's so much stuff about you, and we've known each other a long time,

that I want to know. You know whose mom is not going to come on? Mine, because she's dead. That's our first commercial break.

We're going to go to a florist commercial break right now. Sean, by the way, I will say your mom is dead, but imagine if my surprise guest was your mom. That would be more surprising than me being pale.

Paler than me, my God. Guys, our guest today is from Irvine, California. His mom was a teacher, and his father played sax and keyboard for the Righteous Brothers. Do we get a chance to guess at any point?

No. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, don't guess. Okay.

He studied sports journalism at USC, but ultimately went on to join the Groundlings, and the rest is history. He's got like a million movies under his belt, and I'm sure that's not the only thing. Ladies and gentlemen, William Farrell.

Oh, my God. Wow. Jason! Jason!

There's his headshot. Jason! Hi, Jason! Jason, answer the belly.

Jason, it's your mother. First of all, she's British. Oh, okay. Sorry. But let me guess on that.

What a great booking, Sean. Congratulations. Congratulations. Guys, can I just, can I start by saying I'm so excited to be on the Gong Show podcast, all things you want to know about the new Gong Show.

And it is just, I mean, it's sweeping the country, both countries, Canada and U.S. Aren't that taking fire? It's unbelievable. Are you just drinking, is that just medicine out of the bottle?

That's what it looks like. That's a kombucha. I know that because my wife drinks those. But it does look like a tonic from-

Like old time tonic. Yeah, old time tonic. Yeah, and I just, I drink it as a prophylactic. Sure, yeah.

Well, Farrell, thank you so much for coming on our little show. My pleasure. And we're all obviously such gigantic fans of yours. And one question, you know,

you're one of the rare people in this business, and I think I can speak on behalf of everybody, that it's really hard to find people like you. Hold on one second.

Will Ferrell's got a phone call. Yes. Tight five, everybody. You need a...

Okay, that's a large pepperoni, right? Uh-oh. Do you want chicken fingers with that? I thought he was ordering.

He's taking orders. Okay. Can I get the... Oh!

All right. Okay. All right, Todd. We'll be there in 35 minutes.

He asked for the address, and then he knew the guy, so he didn't need the address. Hey. Hey, keep your landlines, folks. Keep your landlines.

It is pretty strong. When the banking system collapse, you're going to want to have a landline. What I was going to say, William, was, Farrell, was I always wanted to know what is that one thing or that one event

or that one person that made you want to get in the business and pursue comedy? Barack Obama. Correct. But before that, before that.

Great answer. Just like a week before that. the one the one thing the one person yeah was there like a show or a person or an event or something in your family or oh jesus um this is supposed to be things you don't know here come the

waterworks yeah and we are losing light we're losing light i said i wouldn't cry you said you wouldn't try to get me to cry, Sean, but right out of the gate. Here's the real answer to your question. I enjoyed being funny as a child, but I was actually diametrically opposed to going into entertainment because I watched my father, the musician, go from job to job and be fired at the

drop of a hat. And I thought, that's not, who would want to do that? I'm going to have a job